Riveting Fable Comrade

Life Like Trains

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 00:19:00 -0400

For just this time, I have no cares;

no prejudice, no desperate airs.

It’s not worth the force to fret

We’ll get there- later, better yet.

Though the wheels may often slip

the rails that lie guide with their lips.

the track may curve where we don’t see

but we’ll arrive eventually.

At Least I tried

Fri, 24 May 2013 00:57:00 -0400

this is a love song for no one in particular but me

i wish it wasn’t self-ordained, but you no longer will be entertained.

this is ‘I told you so’ the part where I prove to you that you’re wrong

you’re limping towards the barristers, dragging your flawed character along.

and though we’ve had our good days, you always seemed to be swayed by the times

and as the months ticked past, you always seemed to pass another red line

i built something special, and you tore it down and said it wont’t last

the future’s good for looking at, but worthless if you haven’t got a past

the fire could have burned out but you fed the flames

you said it was my fault when you were burnt by the blaze

you’re false accusations make me want to die

don’t be mad at me love, at least I tried.

This is a sad song for the mourning of our fantasy

the life we could have had if you had character and stayed true to me

so take a look around, and see that paradise has been but destroyed

and now you’re on your own without a man, a life, a knife, or employ.

the fire could have burned out but you fed the flames

you said it was my fault when you were burnt by the blaze

you’re false accusations make me want to die

don’t be mad at me love, at least I tried.

but you’re the one who jumped headfirst into your own hell

and now you’re closed for business ‘cause there’s nothing to sell

at least I didn’t skirt around, at least I didn’t lie

don’t be mad at me you wretch, at least I tried!

So I finally wrote down some basslines for four of my songs, What she is, corrosive, New...

Tue, 14 May 2013 23:23:56 -0400

So I finally wrote down some basslines for four of my songs, What she is, corrosive, New Year’s eve, and the possibly comming out song, which I’m now calling “h8.” I’m trying to get a demo-ish sort of thing together, and I’m hoping I can get some drum beats written with my friend tomorrow. hopefully I’ll actually get this done! (also, because it’s hard to tell with just words, I’m going for a pop-punkish style of music that is at times somewhat technical and descriptive, and at other times just fun.)

life through Death (personal exposition)

Sat, 11 May 2013 00:17:46 -0400

would you care if I died?

of course not. you’re a stranger on the internet who i’ve never met. why would it effect you?

but what about everyone else?

sometimes I wonder if dying would be a good idea. I’d finally be free from a mind that’s been trying to overthrow me for as long as I can remember, with doubts and criticisms that never get any quieter, and never go away. I’d finally be free from having to worry so much about my future, how I’m going to live and survive if i’m so fucked up. I wouldn’t have to worry about making friends and being social. I’d be free from a society that jumps to conclusions, that assumes dangerous things that are not true. I’d be free from a religion that tells me that suicide and gay thoughts will lead me to hell, yet can’t explain why if God and Jesus are all powerful and love each and every one of us, they let me suffer so? I’d be free from having to worry about how I look. I’d be free from being judged because of my weight, and having it held against me even though my mind makes it damn near impossible to do anything about it. I’d be free from being numb and pretending to be happy. I’d be free from, well, everything.

But what about everyone else?

I think a lot about death nowadays. How would my friends do without me? would they be unable to go on? would my brother and sister be the same? my mom and dad? i want so desperately to end it all, to stop the depressive clouds in my brain, but I can’t because I care to much about others. my selflessness is prevailing over my selfishness. I can’t stomach the thought of inflicting pain on others like that.

so now, I try to get through each day even though I carry such a heavy burden that nobody can see. I want so desperately for someone to help, but no one ever does. no one knows how. after all, it’s hard to carry someone’s load if it appears nonexistent.

The fact that I lost the personality lottery doesn’t help either. I’m “graced” with all the traits that could possibly make my situation worse- i’m introverted, shy, quiet, and a social nightmare. I can’t help myself because I don’t know how.

And just because I need something else to worry about, my sexuality comes into play. I’m not straight, but I’m not gay either. it feels like you have to be one or the other- on one side you have the heterosexual majority who hates you for being different, and on the other you have a homosexual minority that discredits you because you don’t fully devote yourself to their means. why can’t I just be me?

But what about everyone else?

I wish I could just flick the off switch. I really do. hell, sometimes I wish i could be euthanized. But then I think about the world without me- my family and friends crying over my dead body, and becoming even more depressed because they can’t cope with tragedy. I see my friends trying to have a good time, but then something reminds them of me, and they become as numb on the inside as I was. when Brad, A kid I knew, killed himself, I experienced just that. while I escape and free myself, they take up my burden, and make it unique to themselves. they become the abominations I once was.

I want to die. But I can’t. My conscience prevents it. and because of that, I’m in agony. The cycle is still going strong. but what if it breaks?

but no matter how awful I feel, remember that I love you all. No homo.

okay, yeah. homo.

sorry for clogging your dash though.

Paradise

Fri, 10 May 2013 00:16:11 -0400

how much farther must we travel

until we reach the end

why do we have to pretend?

that the world is just so small,

that our time’s not running out

that the grains of sand won’t clout.

I like to think/ i’ve seen beyond /the veil of ignorance

that constricts your soul

and hides your eyes.

I see the truth, that paradise is just a lie

every day we’re always working

for that which holds such sway

that we gladly throw away.

but we all live in denial

barricading need from life

to the point where we will die.

I’d like to think/ I know what’s true/ but even so I can’t refuse.

I can only get what I need

by feeding greed that’s not my own

I die and I go home,

to a paradise that’s not my own.

is there no end in sight?

(well, there always is)but then why not towards the light?

…..

when ambition’s left unchecked

when we see the alibis

and ignore the sorrowed cries

we’re the first to breach the surface

just to realize we can’t swim

that the light was always dim.

I’d like to think there’s something here that’s worth my while

and that there’s something at the end that makes life worth its trials

But i’ll never find it out, I dare not risk it, I dare not see.

after all, there’s nothing here for me.

we’re the first to breach the surface

just to realize we can’t swim

that the light was always…

comedycentral: This was magical. If you ever needed a reason to...

Fri, 03 May 2013 22:04:46 -0400

comedycentral:

This was magical.

If you ever needed a reason to follow @TheDailyShow, this is it.

Here’s the original segment, in case you missed it.

Sands

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 00:11:46 -0400

when the sand runs out, what then?

it’s not an easy thing.

so why do we all pretend?

we’re all just corpses, in the end.

some will never see their gain

and some may perish grieving,

some will be freed from their pain

and some can’t process leaving.

some will have come in their time

with some you cannot tell.

some may have passed not by choice

and some may have themselves.

And even though there are the likes

of murderers and thugs

who we say will see forgiveness

with the everlasting Son,

we curse the ones in agony

and make them feel more pain

“there’s no rest for the wicked.”

Only all life’s iron chains.

and what if we want escape?

what if we really see

how FUBAR our own world is,

and we just want to be free?

I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry dad,

But I think i’ll take my chances

there’s no point in going on,

no point for second glances.

I’ll never have the luxuries

you always say I will

I’ll always be a loner,

eating scraps to get my fill.

I know you’ve done so much for me

you’re not the ones to blame:

I tried to love the world

In turn, all I got back was shame.

The twisted thing is even though this isn’t yet my case

people put me down, and think that I’m below their place.

I know i’m not quite what they want, I know I’ll never be-

but when I’m always in pain it looks so great to just be free.

parasoul: college; the musical featuring such hits as: the fuck do you mean this textbook is...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 20:55:03 -0400

parasoul:

college; the musical

featuring such hits as:

the fuck do you mean this textbook is $250

why am i the only one in the group doing the assignment

final exams more like no

how did my gpa get so low

this ta really needs to stop

i’m never going to finish this 7,000 word essay by tomorrow

how did my gpa get so high (reprise)

Arthur- I was Jekyll Jekyll Hyde

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 14:16:00 -0400

Arthur- I was Jekyll Jekyll Hyde:

why does this make me laugh so much?

I want to die. there, I said it. I;m so sick of being miserable all of the time, of felling lonely,...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 19:04:51 -0400

I want to die.

there, I said it.

I;m so sick of being miserable all of the time, of felling lonely, of feeling hopeless, of being told that it will eventually get better even though after ten years IT STILL HASNT. i’m sick of worrying about the future, of how i’ll get a job with a useless degree, of how i’ll survive in the real world on my own. I’m sick of hating college, of not having any friends who care about me, of not having anyone I feel that i can trust and talk to you.of feeling like I don’t belong, like I’m out of place or not good enough.

I want to hurt myself, even though I don’t have the courage to do it.

I want to feel happy, even though i can’t remember the last time I ever was.

I want to be normal, even though I know I never will be, even though I know that i’ll be spending my life living off pills.

I want to be able to talk to my mom about this without feeling bad for saying what’s on my mind.

I want to be so many things, even though I know that i can never be.

I want this to end because i’m sick of suffering.

cottoncondy: thingsawhovianshoulddo: krifri: I’m in! Mark...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 16:54:05 -0400

cottoncondy:

thingsawhovianshoulddo:

krifri:

I’m in!

Mark your calendars before you forget!

its on my birthday doidjgij

fishingboatproceeds: I made a video. It’s about the only...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 22:51:29 -0400

fishingboatproceeds:

I made a video. It’s about the only account we have of life inside North Korea’s infamous Camp 14.

end.

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 21:52:04 -0400

Let me die, please.

just let me go free.

let me out of my

fucking misery.

I can’t stay here long

I wan’t to be gone.

but if I drop my burden

someone else won’t be strong.

The title Is untitled

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 13:52:54 -0400

confined to their corners,

shorn refusal to their gaze.

blackened thoughts and notions

all refuse to be arraigned.

darkened lines abreast,

skin tattooed with filigree.

a body’s just a graft

witheld for those who want to see.

New Year's Eve

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 00:20:00 -0400

remember how you said, that you would come and get me,

and how you didn’t want to but you had to leave my gaze.

you tightly let go of my hands and watched and mourned as I tumbled down.

into the water all alone,—where you left me to drown.

I thought i’d sink,

but I swim

I thought you tied a weight down

but the knot gave in

thought the cyanide would

have crept into my brain

but i’m still here

I haven’t died today.

remember how you said that you would always be around just to save me.

and how you lied to save your face to get away from someone thought crazy.

now I know that people like you,-I should have never trusted.

cause in the end all that you do is take a knife into my wound and you thrust it.

though my heart is on my sleeve

you’re crying on your knees

it’s almost like you didn’t expect

to see the worst in me.

I want to sink,

but I swim

I thought you tied a weight down

but the knot gave in

thought the cyanide would

have crept into my brain

but i’m still here

I haven’t died today

as much as I want release

I don’t wan’t to rest in peace

‘cause I’m scared

of the future, no I’m not prepared.

-bridge-

I want to sink,

but I swim

I thought you tied a weight down

but the knot gave in

thought the cyanide would

have crept into my brain

but i’m still here

I haven’t died today

as much as I want release

I don’t wan’t to rest in peace

‘cause I’m scared

of the future, no I’m not prepared.

‘cause I’m scared

of the future, no, I’m not prepared.

Corosive

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 23:47:48 -0400

I’m not isolated

It isn’t something new

Why am I so scared

When I’m telling the truth

my arms get so heavy

as I write on the walls

I want to give up

but you drag me along.

What am I, your pet?

Your catch of the month?

am I being played

or am I out of luck?

I’m sick of the heartbreaks

your silence has caused

I’ll be going now

so you can’t lead me on.

You can’t break my heart

you can’t touch my soul

‘cause I’ve finally gotten

myself under control

you can’t break my heart

‘cause you’ve turned it to stone.

What am I, your pet?

Your catch of the month?

am I being played

or am I out of luck?

I’m sick of the heartbreaks

your silence has caused

I’ll be going now

so you can’t lead me on.

That’s what I get

when I put myself down

I cling to someone

who will just let me drown

When all that I want

is to hold someone now.

What am I, your pet?

Your toy of the month?

am I being played

I know I’m out of luck.

I’m sick of the heartbreaks

your silence has caused

I’ll be going now

Goodbye and so long.

All that I want

Is someone to hold me now.

Today is the day, the day when they see Who I am, with my demons chained up, I go free.

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 00:34:08 -0500

Today is the day, the day when they see

Who I am, with my demons chained up, I go free.

Fin

Mon, 25 Feb 2013 17:34:51 -0500

Can you read my lips? can you hear my say?

I want to tell you something; I Can’t Speak.

But I will butcher these words anyway

as long as you agree we’re discreet.

As far as I recall, our moments burn

like a wax candle eating up the wick

Like Hyperion, Stalwart, tall, and Stern,

Yet is easily put out by a prick.

If your heart desires I’ll let you leave;

All aboard the Holey Chariot!

So ride through heaven, maybe you will greve.

But just like ancient Greece, we’ll all forget.

I wish we could stop saying we could sing

like song birds, even Icarus had wings.

Light, Dark, and Sight

Tue, 19 Feb 2013 12:12:00 -0500

How can I say I’ve seen sunlight?

I’ve escaped from the cage.

But all I see is harsh darkness

that swallows like a plague.

It waits until God’s waining Light,

until the sun has died.

it bastardizes, oh so bright,

pulls wool over our eyes.

But I refuse to play along!

I want light so I’ll see!

——

but though I’ve forced my eyes to see,

the dark’s in front of me.

Someone get me out I can’t take the real world anymore.

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 15:44:03 -0500

Someone get me out I can’t take the real world anymore.